


Someone Like Me

by M3zzaTh3M3z



Category: Widdershins (Webcomic)
Genre: Canon Aromantic Character, Canon Asexual Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Self-Esteem Issues, past ben/OC - Freeform, post curtain call
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 09:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/pseuds/M3zzaTh3M3z
Summary: Ben runs into an ex at the worst possible time. For some reason, he's not the one most upset by this.





	Someone Like Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for everyone who was part of that chat on tumblr the other day about Ben worrying the others were going to leave, helped me flesh this out a little :)  
> This is post-curtain call by like a month or two I imagine, they're just in some little flat or something.

“Well, that could have gone better,” Ben said, picking another piece of straw from his hair. He examined it, wrinkling his nose, and dropped in a flowerbed as he passed. It wasn’t littering if it was a plant, right?

Wolfe, who had somehow avoided getting filthy despite chasing the buggerup through the stables as much as anyone, smiled. “We got there in the end, and that is what matters, is it not?”

“It’s yer own fault ye got kicked,” O’Malley said, smirking, for probably the fifth time that day. “I told ye, horses don’t like ye behind ‘em.”

Apparently five was the maximum number of times Ben could ignore his ‘helpful’ comments. “And since when were you the expert on horses?”

“Since I ‘ad one.”

“What? When did -“

“Benny? Is that you?” From across the street, a man in a long coat and top hat waved, then hurried over, an elegantly dressed woman on his arm. “It is you!”

“Oh god,” Ben muttered.

O’Malley’s eyes lit up. “Benny?”

Those nuisances hearing about ‘Benji,’ had been bad enough, this was a whole new nightmare. One he really didn’t have time for right now. “Not a word.” Brushing some dirt off his suit, Ben plastered on a smile. “Charles, what a pleasant surprise. I thought you were in London?”

Charles gave one of his genial laughs, the kind Ben knew full well were fake but used to enjoy anyway. “Oh I am usually, but we’re in town for the wedding. We’re having it at the university, you know.”

“Wedding?”

“Of course, I haven’t seen you since graduation!” Pausing, Charles frowned slightly and lowered his voice. “You _did_ manage to graduate in the end, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I did.”

At his side, O’Malley tensed and Ben could just _sense_ he was about to mouth off, which was gratifying in one way but an awful prospect in most others. Before Ben could step in though, Wolfe, with his sixth sense for this kind of thing, shifted ever so slightly in front of O’Malley and he relaxed again.  

“Wonderful,” Charles said, clearly not finding it wonderful at all. “But no wonder you haven’t heard the news. This is my fiancée, Elizabeth.”

If he’d expected this day to come, Ben might have imagined a pit in his stomach at those words, or a rush of anger, but instead he felt… nothing, really. She was just some woman he’d been introduced to. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Confusion flickered across Charles’ face as he looked between Ben and Elizabeth, but it disappeared again behind a smile. “Darling, this is Benny.”

Elizabeth giggled, hiding her mouth daintily behind one hand. Very proper and respectable, exactly as he’d expect from Charles. “Ah yes, the one you told me about. Don’t worry, all good things!” she added with another laugh.

“What a relief.”

“And who are your...?” Charles asked, gesturing to Wolfe and O’Malley.

“Colleagues,” Ben finished.

“Friends,” Wolfe supplied at the same moment.

“Never met ‘im before,” O’Malley chipped in over them both.

Ben sighed. “This is Heinrich Wolfe and Jack O’Malley. We work together.”

“What is it you do now anyway?” Charles asked, then sniffed. “I can’t imagine you’re a groom, you never liked large animals.”

“Nothing of the sort. Our job today simply took us to the stables. We remove malforms.”

“How... interesting.”

“Yes, it is.”

Charles glanced at his watch. “Goodness, look at the time. We’ll be late to the tailors. Good to see you, Benny. Gentlemen.”

As soon as Charles was gone Ben let himself relax, leaning back against some shop wall without even checking for moss or dirt. It wasn’t like his suit could get any worse. Running one hand over his face, he groaned. “That was awful. Mortifying. Did you see the way he was looking at me? Oh, of all the days to see him...”

“Who was your friend?” Wolfe asked.

“We... knew each other at university.”

O’Malley smirked again, but pitched his voice as the pinnacle of innocence. “‘Ow come ‘e calls ye Benny?”

Lying might have been the easier way out, had the question been from anyone else. Lying to O’Malley was not advisable though. “We were... seeing each other, for some time. A year or so.”

“Seein’? But ye don’t -“ O’Malley cut himself off, his face falling to some cold, closed off mask. “Oh.”

Wolfe gave O’Malley an anxious look, but then smiled at Ben. “I did not know you have had a partner. He is certainly a handsome -“

“Do we have to go into this?” Ben pushed himself off the wall and started towards home again. Already he was regretting his childish moment, he was sure his back was covered in even more dirt now.

Wolfe fell into step alongside him. “Of course not, I was merely curious. You have never mentioned anybody before, see, so finding a somebody is a surprise.”

“Two somebodies, if you must know,” Ben admitted, his cheeks heating, but unable to hold back a small smile nevertheless. It wasn’t often he surprised the others. “A girl in third year for a few months. And Charles during our final year.”

“What happened, may I ask? You do not seem on the best of terms.”

“Nothing exciting. His family’s even more traditional than mine and I’m – not exactly Miss Elizabeth.” The story no longer stung the way it had two years ago. Far too much had happened since them for him to worry about stuff like that.

“Maybe you will have better luck in the future,” Wolfe said.

O’Malley, unusually silent at Wolfe’s side, stuck his hands in his pockets and forged ahead of them, his head down. Not too strange behaviour when they faced crowds, but the street was almost empty.

“O’Malley?” Ben asked, but got no reply.

Wolfe frowned. “Mal? Are you okay?”

“Fine, jus’ want t’ get back.” O’Malley didn’t look round.

 

Once back home, or at least, the cramped flat they were treating as an office/house until the insurance people fixed their Actual Home, O’Malley disappeared off to his and Wolfe’s shared room, slamming the door behind him. Not even Happiness was allowed in, or so Ben surmised from the scratching at the door he heard whenever he passed. Well, he hoped it was Happiness, and not that awful ‘Sharpey,’ thing O’Malley was inexplicably fond of.

At supper, O’Malley remained quiet and nibbled on a piece of bread the whole time, which would be a welcome relief from his usual chaos if it wasn’t so unnerving. Not even Wolfe could get more than ‘aye,’ or ‘nah,’ out of him, but he wouldn’t respond to Ben at all.

“Perhaps he is ill,” Wolfe suggested once he’d retreated back to his room.

“Maybe,” Ben agreed, unconvinced.

 

Ill or not, O’Malley was at least well enough to help complete a malform removal the next day, though not enough to actually talk to Ben or Wolfe beyond the bare minimum. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten in a sulk with Ben, but ignoring Wolfe was new. And worrying.

 

It was Wolfe’s turn to cook that evening, to Ben’s great relief. O’Malley might be able to produce something edible when he felt like it, but it seemed unlikely he felt like it at the moment, especially considering he hadn’t bothered eating breakfast or lunch that day.

Still, Ben was determined to enjoy the hour of free time he allowed himself while Wolfe made dinner (stew, with beef from the grateful butcher’s they’d helped that morning – it was nice they were occasionally appreciated) so he settled down with a book on summoning circles and did his best to forget the world.

Sometime later, Wolfe’s voice startled Ben from his reading. “Mal, Ben, dinner is ready!”

He put the book down and rubbed his eyes under his glasses, surprised and a little disoriented to find it was dark outside the windows. After drawing the curtains, he made his way to the kitchenette and helped Wolfe place the stew and potatoes on the rickety table.

“O’Malley isn’t joining us?”

Wolfe frowned. “Perhaps he didn’t hear. I will go tell him.”

Sat in what he’d already adopted as ‘his’ chair, Ben waited patiently as Wolfe’s footsteps faded down the hall. A door opened, then closed again. Then nothing.

Ben tapped his feet under the table. He straightened out his cutlery. He got himself a glass of water, drank it, and poured another. Wolfe and O’Malley remained in their room.

Just when he was considering going himself, Wolfe reappeared alone, his shoulders slumped. “Sorry to have kept you. I hope the food has not gone too cold.”

“Is everything alright?” Ben asked.

“I am not sure. He says he is tired and ill and not hungry, so we are not to save him any food, but... I feel he is upset with us.”

“Upset why?”

“I cannot tell.” Sighing heavily, Wolfe sat down. Ben wondered if he should do something to help him, but he had no idea what. He’d never known anyone take it as hard as those two when the other was upset. “Something else concerned me. He grabbed my arm.”

“He was angry with you?”

“No, not in anger. He wanted... I do not know. Reassurance?”

O’Malley was about as affectionate as a stray cat. The idea of him voluntarily asking for comfort escalated the situation in Ben’s mind from mildly worrying to an active concern.

“I’ll speak with him later,” he decided. “Maybe I’ll find out what’s wrong. He’s never had a problem telling me what I’ve done to annoy him before.”

 

Once supper was cleared and washed up, Ben brewed two mugs of lemon tea, dug some biscuits out the back of the cupboard where he’d hidden them out of Happiness’ reach, and took it all to O’Malley’s room.

“O’Malley?” he said, knocking gently.

“Go ‘way.”

“I brought you some tea.”

“Don’t like tea.”

“And biscuits.”

Silence.

“Can I come in?”

More silence. Then, “Fine.”

Ben opened the door to find O’Malley sat on the floor leaning back again his bed, knees to his chest. His feet were bare and he’d shed his jacket, his vest visible underneath his unbuttoned shirt.

“Wolfe said you were ill,” Ben said, handing over the tea and biscuits. Up close he did actually look a little unwell - his face splotched red and as he accepted the mug he sniffed loudly. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

O’Malley shrugged. “Floor’s alright.” He placed the tea between his knees and dunked on of the biscuits before eating it in one bite. So much for ‘not hungry.’ Once every crumb had been licked off his fingers, he looked sharply up at Ben. “Why’re yer still ‘ere?”

“That’s a nice way to talk to someone who brought you biscuits. I shan’t bother next time.”

“I’ll ask ‘appy.”

“Where is ‘Happy,’ anyway?” Ben asked, looking around for any sign of the malform. “He seemed upset when you wouldn’t let him in. If he keeps scratching the door like that the landlord’s going to kick us out.”

With a grimace, O’Malley looked away. “I’ll tell ‘im sorry later.” Typical of him to find apologising to a malform easier than to a person.

“What’s the matter, O’Malley?” Ben asked, settling onto the floor next to him. He took a sip of tea and watched as O’Malley’s scowl deepened. “And don’t say you’re ill. You were fine when we talked to Charles yesterday.”

“Well mebbe I caught summat from yer _boyfriend_.”

“Charles is not –“ Ben blinked as he registered O’Malley had said, his automatic response trailing off. “Are you upset about Charles? But – why?”

“Ye wouldn’t get it. Yer… normal.”

There wasn’t any logical reason Ben could see for this, so he gave a stab at the closest he could find. “Are you – jealous?”

“Bloody ‘ell, fer all yer smarts yer daft sometimes.”

“Well you’re not making much sense either you know. You only just met Charles. I know he’s obnoxious but he can’t have upset you this much.”

“’m not upset.”

“Of course not. You’re just sulking on the floor for fun.”

“’m not sulking.”

“Right.” Ben sighed and stared into his tea. He was no good at this. He didn’t know why he thought he’d be able to get any sense out of O’Malley in the first place, not when even Wolfe hadn’t managed. Irritation flared – why must he be so childish? – before fading, leaving his chest heavy. When O’Malley wanted to be childish and irritating he played pranks and needled relentlessly, not whatever this was. He might not express it in the most sensible way, but Ben didn’t need the Sight to know he was hurting.

Lifting his head slightly, O’Malley looked round. From up close, Ben could see his eyes were faintly red-lined. As he noticed, O’Malley’s eyes widened. “Oi, why’re _ye_ sad now?”

“Because you’re upset. For all your Sight _you’re_ daft sometimes. Tell me what the matter is. Maybe Wolfe and I can help.”

“Nah. Selfish t’ say.”

“Selfish how?”

The mug fell to the floor, spilling tea across the wooden boards as O’Malley twisted to face him. “’Cause it’s yer fault!” he burst out, his fists tight in front of him. “I thought ye were like me and – and –“ He deflated, slumping back against the bed. One hand absently trailed through the spilled tea, leaving behind a shaky smear. “And yer not.”

Ben inhaled sharply, frozen in place. Then he reached for his handkerchief and started to wipe up the spill before it could reach his trousers. “What do you mean, like you?”

O’Malley just shook his head, eyes resolutely down.

“O’Malley. I’m not a mind reader.”

“Fine. I thought ye weren’t into – the romance stuff. Or, uh –“ To his amazement, O’Malley actually blushed, his hands twisting together in his lap. “Y’know. The rest. Never saw any o’ it in ye, ‘til that bloke.” Ben tried not to squirm at the thought of those feelings being exposed, but of course O’Malley picked up on his discomfort anyway. “Not like I _look_ fer it. But that stuff’s hard t’ miss.”

“Well, it’s not like I have a partner at the moment, or recently,” Ben said reasonably. “Is it that surprising you haven’t?”

O’Malley shook his head, frowning slightly. “Partner’s not t’ do wi’ it. Most people, ‘s whenever they see someone… pretty? Dunno. Never worked it out. Most days though.”

“Oh. But not me?” Ben hadn’t given it much thought, but he supposed it had been a while since he’d found someone attractive. The last was probably… Charles, before he’d gotten over their breakup. That was almost two years ago. Compared to daily it did sound a while. “And not you, I assume,” he finished, the pieces slowly coming together in his mind.

“Aye.”

“Never? You’ve never fallen in love or… wanted to kiss someone?” Even as he spoke, he could see the disgust rise in O’Malley’s face.

“Nah. Dunno why I would, ‘cept fer most everyone does.” He bit his lip, considering for a moment. “Tried t’ want it,” he admitted quietly, the blush returning a little. “Doesn’t work. Can’t change feelings.”

“So when you never saw that in me, you thought I didn’t have those feelings either,” Ben said, understanding dawning. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I don’t –“

“Don’t say sorry.”

“I imagine it was a relief to think you found someone similar. But don’t worry, I’m sure there are others who –“

“I don’t care about ‘em! I care about –“ Mal clamped his mouth shut, looking away. “One day yer find another Charles. A goodun. And Wolfe will find his. An’ yer do the married thing an’ live in a normal ‘ouse that’s not a train or a ditch or full o’ buggerups, an’ I…” He dropped his head. “I won’t.”

Ben laid a hand on O’Malley’s shoulder, the way Wolfe occasionally did. He didn’t flinch away. “Oh, O’Malley. Have you told Wolfe any of this?”

O’Malley shook his head quickly, sending his already messy hair into disarray. “No, an’ ye can’t either. Don’t know why I‘m botherin’ ye wi’ it in th’ first place. Always known Wolfe was jus’ fer a bit. ‘s fine. My fault fer starting t’ think ye were diff’rent.”

Folding his hands together, Ben leant forward so he could look O’Malley in the eye. “I’m going to say something and you are _not_ to make fun of me for it when you’re feeling better.” He decided to interpret O’Malley’s shrug as agreement. “When we were fighting Pride… I told it I didn’t have any friends.” O’Malley opened his mouth, but Ben forged on before he could lose his nerve. “I know that’s not true, at least, I hope it’s not – _see_ , I’m doing it again. But you and Wolfe _are_ under contract to be here. When I think of when that ends – I – I don’t want it to.”

One corner of O’Malley’s mouth twitched upwards. “Kinda forgot ‘bout tha’.”

“You shouldn’t, it’s very important.”

“So’s other stuff. Wi’ or wi’out it, I‘m stayin’ ‘ere. Witch’s got to.” The brief lightness in O’Malley’s voice disappeared again as he ducked his head. “Even if ‘e doesn’t get married, Wolfe’s not gonna want t’ stay ‘ere forever, so –“

“He’s scared you don’t need him,” Ben cut in. O’Malley stared. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but when Pride got him, that’s how he got out. Please don’t tell him I said that.” It wasn’t so much he was scared Wolfe would be angry, because Wolfe didn’t get angry, but he did get disappointed and that was infinitely worse.

“Eh? Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh. I –“ O’Malley broke off, his trembling lips pressed tight together. He furiously scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and Ben looked away.

“I can’t promise I’ll never fall in love again, or get married and start a family. Or that Wolfe won’t do so either. But I think we’re rather silly to worry like we do. None of us are going anywhere yet.”

O’Malley clambered to his feet, his limbs unfolding like he never quite grew into them. “Speak fer yerself. I‘m getting’ summat t’ eat. Bloody starvin’.” He offered Ben a hand and pulled him to his feet, his grin watery but determined.

Smiling, Ben shook his head. “And who’s fault is that? Come on, we saved you some stew.”

**Author's Note:**

> haha imagine if I did fics about something other than aroace Mal :') wild. Seriously though I've had this idea for MONTHS I just never got around to it and I'm glad I waited because I ended up with more stuff than originally planned. Not sure if everyone would have seen it but Ben was like 'Word of God' confirmed pan demi I think on the widdershins tumblr, so that's what's up with that. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! All comments and kudos much appreciated <3
> 
> ******
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic, you might want to check out my others. I have fics in the [Supernatural,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=27) [ Osomatsu,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=7048385) [ Ace Attorney, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=1034737) [ Haikyuu,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=758208) [ Portal, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=83491) [ Boku No Hero Academia,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=3828398) [The Umbrella Academy ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=29744003)and [Widdershins fandoms, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=2511207) with more being added all the time.   
>  [Find me @buggerup-busters on tumblr!](https://buggerup-busters.tumblr.com/)


End file.
